Got my period today. However, that means there can still be hope. Hope is good.
My acupuncturist last week made me nervous. He asked me how the week had been emotionally. He said my pulses felt much different than they ever had - they felt dead. He said it felt like I had given up on something. That made me nervous. Hearing it I was worried he was going to give up on me too.
Thing is, I did sort of move on to other things in one small sense. I told my 'my health coach' nurse what the clinic had said. She decided to close my case, though I think she had decided that before the call. I was hard to reach and we never really did anything with the program. Interesting concept however. Anyway, I've been trying to come to terms with my situation more.
I hadn't told the nurse however that I was still optimistic and not letting the clinic get me down right now. Fall is my fertile time. My two pregnancies have been in the fall. I ovulated - strongly. It had to be.
Even if we didn't exactly act like bunnies. It was something. Something to hold on to and be hopeful about. Being an older parent worries me for T. Worries me for any new younger child. I don't want T to be too burdened by us, to be alone once we are gone. Having a sibling doesn't mean that won't happen, but there is hope.
And I can be hopeful about this period. It came just about two weeks after ovulating. That's normal, and normal isn't something I have been dealing with cycle wise lately (unless you think about this all being normal for my age, but I'm going with I'm still on the young side of it.) So...
Hope is good, I have to have hope.